Thursday, September 22, 2011

"Please pick your head up off the table" "You aren't going to find the answer staring off into space"  "No it's not 15, don't say 15 again."  

Have you ever had an experience that drove you to change everything about the way you think? I have, his name is Kaleb. My fourth born, he is 6 1/2. I have just started him in school this year because he refused to write his letters and numbers until the past 8 months or so. I learned early on in my homeschooling years that it is better for everyone involved if they start school when they are ready and not just because they turn 5. So most of my kids are a full year behind other kids their age. It bothers me and makes me feel like a failure of a Mother. But I can't help that their genes just aren't the smartest.

I have never had a child that paid so little attention. He is in and out of his chair, on his feet in his chair, half sitting half standing, laying his head on the table, staring at the ceiling, staring out the window, listening to the other boys do their school, paying attention to Ellie or Isaac, talking over me to tell someone else to stop distracting him...I give up. 

He wouldn't last one week in school. His teacher would have him diagnosed as ADHD in a heartbeat.(seriously he has like ALL of those symptoms) So why can't I? 

I am so anti medical intervention..I delivered all my children without so much as an Advil. I don't always give them the antibiotics that are prescribed for an ear infection. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years, but I just couldn't ever take anything for it. It's just not me. But this child as pushed me to my breaking point. I just want to drag him into the pediatrician and beg him to make my child sit still. 

I just feel like I've paid my dues.  I've taught my children how to behave like civilized human beings. We can go out and I know they will be quiet and obedient. They aren't going to dart across the parking lot in front of your car. They aren't going to throw a fit at check out because I won't buy them candy. You can sit next to them in a restaurant and not even know they are there...mostly. 

I've successfully taught 3 children how to read and even Kaleb is doing surprisingly well. I've battled through teaching a very dyslexic child to read. I keep my children home because I feel that is what God would have me do...besides from hearing what friends deal with having their kids in public school it wouldn't be any easier. It's the sheer volume of kids that makes this so impossible. I can't give one child my undivided attention without distractions. I already make Ethan wait hours for my help because I have to spend 1-3 hours JUST DOING MATH with K. 

So what is the hang up right now in math to make me break down and post on my blog again? Double digit numbers. Not adding them, just learning them. I've never come across this before. Once they've learned how to count and write 1-20, the rest have just been easy. They just did it. Why can't he? Filling in a 100's chart is taking an hour. AN HOUR. It's not even missing ALL the numbers. And I keep telling him what comes next. 44, 45, 46...then it takes 15 minutes for him to write 47. The whole time crying hysterically because, "it's so hard". Finally he writes "47". "What comes after 47?" "46?" By now I just want to jump through the window. I don't know how else to make him understand. He can count by tens, he can look at a completed 100 chart and count them all without mistake. How can I make him understand numbers 21-100? We do counting tens and ones, tens place, ones place, trading pennies for dimes. 

Really the problem is our ridiculous system of counting. Who thought it was a good idea to teach numbers 0-9 one way and then start calling them something totally different sounding for numbers 10+. I mean really why would anyone think 10, 11, 12, 13 and 15 were a good idea? 

And all this while my 2 year old screams and claws at me for attention. And you people wonder why I don't want any more kids? 

Just come live a day in my shoes. 


kingsnakedmd said...

With the exception of being a public schooler, I agree with everything you said. We had a teacher demand that we put one of our 6 year old children on behavior modifying drugs. (Not that she had any such authority.) My father said that if we didn't get him on such drugs we were dooming him to one day be in prison. We refused, and switched schools. My son still has real academic struggles and may be held back another year, but his teacher commends him for his willingness to try. That took huge efforts for years on our part, and the struggle is not over. Whatever their academic and emotional make-up that God has given my children, that is what they must learn to deal with, and medications only prolong dealing with harder issues until a older more difficult age. Family members have also insisted that I take medications too, but I refused. I agree with you, and you aren't alone in your struggles with teaching your children.

Bryant King

Amanda said...

Thanks Bryant!